some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize