I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
