So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
