HIV tests are more positive than that guy
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Do you still have your period?
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
she woke up with a sticky ear
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
