You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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