hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
