quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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