she looked like the bat from fern gully.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
