I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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