wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
