Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
