fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
