Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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