we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
