8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
