I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
