were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
