dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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