My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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