You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
it's like iHOP with fire
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
