Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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