thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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