we have pet lesbian snakes
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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