Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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