Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You are the jesus of drinking
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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