On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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