bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
