you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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