I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
