R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
