Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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