FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
