Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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