Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
