She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize