Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Randomize
