So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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