I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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