they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
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Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
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Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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