I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
