have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Randomize
