You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
