actually, I'm a sock model
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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