And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
