so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
