Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
