I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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