My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
