she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
