i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
