No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
