$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
