I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
We need to get me chipped asap
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I had to cum in my sink.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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