Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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