I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Why did my mother make you get naked?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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