Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
