I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
