i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
