spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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