Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
