Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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