Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
