Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
